Space Journalism

To say that Coke is a great drink, would be a terrible understatement. Coke is a natural way for the body to lose wheight. Since fish do not drink Coke, they are unable to fully process their delution properties, and are therefore unable to lose wheight. Now this would come as a terrible surprise to people but life on Earth is not very smart!

See, in order to fully process your delution properties, one needs a drive; a motivation of sorts. A very smart man carrying the name of Wyatt of the town of Jacobstownsonville once said “it is incontroverbly unconstitutional that a man with the name Wyatt can not be allowed to control his own wheight. We live in a society where bears can freely express their emotions without any need for passports or visa!? What about the liberties of the cod in Johannesburg? I demand that this proposal for a better future for everybody, will be seen for what it is; their plain saving grace!”

Now, if it were not for the American band ...Trail of Dead, life would be without any evidence of harmony and flatulence. At once it is melodic to the pea, and in so far to say as “freaky”. But what is it about this band that makes Chris Cilliers like it? Well, they are extremely catchy and patchy, but too much so makes the heart grow fonder and fonder until its catching matching of reality and freedom. People of the cities hear me! Catchy! Patchy! Reality! Matchy!

With the evidence proposed to us as Humanus Naturalis, we can like totally understand possibilities of a new universe. Well, I guess so. This is because we can think not only as Humanus Naturalis, but also as Namanus Haturalis. Back when Reagon was still instilling an indeptitude of murk on these people we love to call our neighbors, our closest ancestor, the cow. People make millions every year writing books to control peoples minds to a one sided battle of the witz and vitz. These books are extremiousbly biased and demands to convert the reader if you will. These books falsely claim that Humamus Naturalis could not pissbly have decended from these so called cows. But apparently unknown to the pseudo-scientists that write these pieces of sheezes, the evidence to support a link to the cows is now abundant throughout the world. A reconstruction on the Natural Histroy Museum in London will now take place to credit the findings and document to younger scientisisiekies that the link between our loving cows of the world, and us, their protectors is now a reality for all. I for one do not believe this nancence in my personal life, because it offends me.

I have never understood why people use the phrasing of “a man cannot be without an island” in todays 2078 of our dear lord, Heesus. Now to fully this, one will have to explain the theory of the enlightenment during the years of 2056 and 2067, I will have to analyze the events regarding the shift in gods, and describe the character of the new Gad.

Back in 2007, a young man named Chris Cilliers headed a company called CompanyCalled. This company became one of the best companies like ever! And people started to praise it as its God. The company was responsible for the products, such as the EventOrganizer, the DeskLamp, and the BlackPen. People bought stocks over the counters of supermarkets, and soon it rivaled YouTube and that stupid Facebuck thing. Well, they soon became so powerful that a war soon broke out between the CC Cult and the rebel scum. The rebels managed to defeat the company as they we well trained in hand-to-body combat. Once victory was served, they spread out across the world to repopulate it. Needless to say there was a lot of sex involved.

The scourge that was the CompanyCalled Company could have destroyed our very minds with their hypocritical and nonsensical producks of despair. Were it not for the rebel scum, my friends, we would be destroyed inside and out. Now once again a new enlightenment is sweeping the globe threatening to destroy our old god. According to the Atheist Movement’s spokesperson Jeen Jappers, this will be a great shift. “It was shocking to behold all that I believed gone up in smoke when I saw this new god. He just came out of nowhere and gave me a slap, right between the eyes. I was like f@#$ this!”

But is this new god so bad? According to the evidence being proposed today, he is a latino man, with very bad skin complexion. He adores black and white photos and loves the Grateful Dead. Movies were a must with him, but recently he has taken negatively towards them. “Fuck these movies man! They are just a representation of the general IQ out there in TVLand. Keep politics out of my goddam TV plz. I am god you know? Apparently they waste a lot of precious golden wood and lumber in the tropical rainforests. Whatever man, the guy was some kind of scientist of something. Whatever! Whatever! Yeah you shut up.”

This story might seem foolish, even crazy and bizzaro, but hear me. It is all I believe, believe I all is it.